my rant

im moving soon.

im so nervious......and im moving in with complete strangers it feels like. i know its totally the wrong thing to do but i live spontaniously i dont care if the outcome is awful. i wish more people did that. for instance taylor. i just wish that she would tell her parents that were together. and that she is madly in love with me (i know she isn't but im trying to make it sound more than it really is) if she would just say it with passion and maybe tell them how good i treat her they would understand. i just want to see her all the time. band her parents are making it alot harder than it should be. who cares if she is 16 and im turning 20. in 6 years she will me 22 and i'll be 26 and thats normal for soceiety today.

i feel like yelling and just ugh! im getting so fustraited over EVERYTHING. today at work i cut my hand twice and i flipped out. it didnt hurt i was just mad at how carless i was! and taylor!! omg! were should i start my ranting. lets think back like 2 months ago. no lets think back a month ago even. she would text me right when she wakes up and in her first hour and sometimes in second even tho her teacher had taken her hone away a couple of times already, and during lunch and usually i would be swamped and i wouldn't text back and i would talk to her around 4 and then we would usually IM the most of the day and i would later go to bed and like around 11 at night she would call me and she wouldn't let me go to bed till like 12:30 or 1.....and sometimes yes i didnt like it because i needed some sleep or i was with friend and couldn't talk but i still loved that she thinks about me.


PRESENT DAY:
unless i text her like 2 or 3 times she doesn't say shit. and i dont bother calling because she doesn't answer anymore. im going to try and explain what i think is going on. i kow it wont be accurate but still. im like second on her list of things that are important to her. and i dont know what she is doing anymore. she is trying less. maybe not even trying at all. im not the only one that thinks that this is a little messed up. she is hanged. like boring. but not in an insult kind of way she is just quiet. doesn't say anything. why is she doing this!? how do i get things to go back to normal? someone needs to please help me!

i want the taylor back that loves me.....or where i thought she loves me...but now i think she just doesn't care. i fucking love her to death and she knows that i would try to do anything for her. now why cant i get a little colateral back.

she doesn't know but she is loosing me this way. and i dont know how to stop it.


i love you tay